How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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