Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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