I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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