She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
