Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
