garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
