I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
