My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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