So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
