You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
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while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
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I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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