Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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