remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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