Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
