1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
