I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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