I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
