***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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