I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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