Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
