My cat gives me a boner
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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