well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
