he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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