You're so nebulous sometimes
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Drunk is not a location!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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