So drunk its hurt
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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