Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
