I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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