Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
