I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
