ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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