just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
