I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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