we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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