My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
