literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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