I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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