No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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