if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize