I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
