question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i came on her dog
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
