Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
