I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
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He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
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Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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