At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize