people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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