i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
