I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
