Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize