eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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