hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
