and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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