Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Randomize
