Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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