ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
