He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
