Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
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I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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