This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
