so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
