The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
