So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
