I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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