I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
